Archive for the ‘On Being A Single Mom’ Category
Single Mom Stigma
I think in our society today, even with the advancement of technology and people becoming more openminded about certain societal issues, there is still a single mom stigma going around. I read Delamar‘s (of RX 93.1 FM) interview in Smartparenting.com.ph and was immediately struck by a statement she made. His father took his pregnancy hard. Old school, you can say. But there were also other people who questioned her decision not to marry the father of her child. Like as if marrying the guy will make everything better. I may come from a somewhat conservative family but I don’t believe in marriage just because a child is conceived. It is a good reason to hasten the marriage but if only from the start the parents wanted to really tie the knot.
Rumor has it that this is the baby’s father, Tyler Ashby who works for a call center company in the country and a part-time music artist.
Well, if that’s the baby daddy, then I must say great choice, Delamar! He is a hottie!
Anyway, society ties this image of a single mom with a kid who will grow up to be spoiled rotten and seeking attention, or worse, a really bad seed. Truth is there are a lot of kids from single-parent homes who grew up to be well-adjusted and well-balanced individuals.
I think it is best for a kid to grow up with a single mom than with both parents who fight every single minute and who will ultimately separate that will leave the child traumatized and scarred for life.
Difficulty of being a single parent
It’s not easy being a parent. I think everyone who has a child of their own knows that and have one or many experiences to prove that as well. There is always the financial side of things. The woman stays at home with the kid(s) and the man works. Or the emotional side of things. Coping with parenthood and all that.
Can you imagine how much more difficult it is if you are a single parent?
I’ve been in a caffeine sustenance most of the time just so I can beat deadlines. I feel like I am working 90% of the time. 10% you can divide for sleep and bathroom breaks. I eat while working. I do this because there are mouths I have to feed.
One of my best friends is a single dad. We had a chat a few days ago and he told me about his difficulties as a single parent. He has two kids: a boy and a girl. He already taught my godson to become independent because he still has to work and take care of his daughter. I believe he was experiencing emotional pain while we were talking about his life and that of his kids. He feels guilty all the time because he feels whatever he is doing is not enough, will never be enough, for his kids. I think that is a guilt most single parents carry with them.
I have no solution to this problem. In fact, I am not an expert to talk about single parenthood. What I do know is that we should just give our best and pray that our kids will grow up to appreciate what we did for them.
Simple with a splash of color
If you are a single mom, you have so many things running in your head regarding work, finances, home and kids. You can’t keep yourself focused on only one thing because there’s so many others that will be neglected. For example, right now, I am budgeting our finances for the next six months but at the same time, my mind is planning my Anika’s bedroom…
I want Anika’s bedroom to look like this. Simple, walls in white but with a splash of color from the bedding and linens. I love this room!
It is giving me ideas on what my next project would be…
Single moms
Have you heard of Single Moms? It’s a reality show on TLC about single moms finding their Mr. Right. A friend of mine who is a single mom like me told me all about it. We’ve talked about it last night and our being single.
For your information, being a single mom is not easy. The deck is stacked against a single parent from the get go. You know, saddled with kids and all that.
According to a report, an estimated 10.4 million women are single mothers living with children younger than 18, up 3.4 million since 1970, according to the U.S. Census.
Of all the women who are custodial parents, about 44 percent are divorced or separated; 33 percent have never been married; 22 percent are married and 1 percent are widowed.
In my case, my husband died even before I delivered my second baby. Finding a man is far from my mind but who wants to grow old alone? I want someone to whom I can share my life with. But there are so many things that need to be considered. My kids are the number one priority, of course. That someone needs to understand that my kids are the most important to me. And he should love them as his own. Tough call but hey, take it or leave it.
The way I operate
I am currently single, although not looking, but still open to the possibility of meeting that special someone intended for me. I am not in a hurry because I want to be sure. Getting into a relationship is no joke so better be sure what you are getting into before anything else.
So when it comes to relationships, I am open to meeting different men first, know them before plunging head first into a commitment. That’s how I ‘operate’, so to speak.
Date not once, not twice but as many times as you can. This way you will get to know the man first.
Agree?
